If I Knew Then What I Know Now

I love sales!!! Sales was my first love. It was the very first relationship I had… that loved me back. It was the first thing I experienced that gave me… what I put into it.

But it was a bumpy beginning!!! LOL

It reminded me of the girl you really liked… but she just isn’t feeling you. But you try, and try, and try anyway… and then one day she says, ‘Okay, I’ll go out with you.’ You get to know each other…, and she begins to feel your character…, integrity, comfort, the safe space you create… and respect for her…. which turns into a deeper bond…, a beautiful relationship…, a happily ever after that wants to evolve and be watered daily.

Each of us knows a couple like that. Entrepreneurship was like that for me.

I went to an interview 30 years ago for a marketing and customer service position…. Instead of interviewing me for marketing, they pulled out a vacuum cleaner, told me that selling it was the job, and we’d be on a 100% commission. I was immediately turned off…

but then they said if I did 10 demonstrations in a week… and didn’t sell anything… I would make 400 dollars regardless. If I sold one, however, I would make 500. I didn’t know… if I could sell the vacuum cleaner, but I knew with certainty… I could do 10 demos and guarantee my 400.

Being 18 at the time… I went home to talk to my parents. My dad, a law enforcement officer at the time, was hell-bent on it; he told me to get a “real job.” Luckily, my mom…, a schoolteacher… was the real boss, and she told my father to let him try it.

My dad and I agreed… I would give it 90 days and circle back.

I sold my very first one, and I missed my next nine, but I did the required ten demos. I collected my $ 500 for selling the first one and quit on the spot.

One problem though………. my dad…

When I went home and told my dad he was right and that I had quit my job, to my surprise, my day was made again. I didn’t understand why. He made me go back to my boss… and ask for my job back. So, I did…. My boss told me he would allow me to come back… but I had to train for three straight… 8-hour days… on the three critical sections of our “process,”… and once I did…I could go back out into the field. So, I did what he asked and then went back out into the field.

I sold my next 11 out of 12 and earned a check of over 5,000 in one week…

In one week, I made more than my mother, a teacher, would make in an entire month. That second week turned into a very successful 27-year career, spanning over two states, hundreds of employees, and enough income to support my seven children.

What’s the moral of the story???

Don’t quit. Become an expert at your craft. Learn how to turn a ‘no’ into a ‘yes,’ and once you figure out how to nurture your relationship with entrepreneurship, fall in love with it unconditionally.

“If I Knew Then What I Know Now.”

I would have fallen in love with the word ‘no’ sooner. It’s not the NO you think I’m referring to. N – O

but the other KNOW

K – N – O – W

If I could go back in time and give my younger self a message…it would be this:

Keep going. But go with a plan. Go with purpose. Go with a process. Go with grit.

You see, for 27 years, I knocked on thousands of doors. Over 70,000, to be exact.

All of them were not interested in spending 3,000 for a vacuum. I didn’t get paid unless I sold something. That meant if I had a bad day, a bad week, a bad month, I didn’t eat. If I was going to stay in this business and pay my $12,000 in monthly bills… I needed to sell. I closed over 60% of the demonstrations I attended in my career, with an average closing rate of 25% for others.

Through those years, I learned more about business, people, perseverance, and mindset than any classroom or textbook could have taught me. For full transparency…I tried talking differently…; I tried dressing differently…. I even tried to assimilate to an identity that I thought would be more “sellable.”

It wasn’t until I made peace with the fact that MY battle wasn’t with the community or my customer, but with me — the man in the mirror — that reality really propelled my career into another stratosphere. If you’re here wondering if you should quit…, and it’s impacting your mental health, riddled with anxiety and fear…let’s pump the breaks for a minute…

Don’t Quit Too Soon!!!

In 1858, there was a man who spent a considerable amount of money on equipment to dig for gold. He dug and dug for months, maybe even years, without finding Gold. One day…, exhausted and frustrated, he gave up. He sold his equipment to a guy who was a junk dealer, and he sold it for pennies…. The junk dealer went back to the same spot. Being an engineer… with a process, he realized the original person didn’t understand fold lines… and gold seams. By analyzing the land, he realized the gold was less than 3 feet from where they were digging. He moved the machine over, started up the machines… and struck one of the richest seams of gold in Colorado gold rush… and just three feet later…, struck one of the largest gold pipelines in history… worth millions. That was in 1858. One million then would be worth $ 40 million today.

Three feet. Don’t quit.

Three feet from success. Three feet from legacy. Three feet from life-changing results.

That story stuck with me, because I’ve had plenty of “three feet” moments….

And maybe you’re in one right now. Maybe your next client…, your big break, your pivot…your gold…is just around the corner. So…, whatever you do, don’t stop digging.

Let’s break down 5 things… every entrepreneur…aspiring or experienced…needs to know:

#1. Have a process and then FOLLOW it.

Passion without process is chaos and full of anxiety. Those who fail to plan…plan to fail. Prior preparation prevents poor performance. You need systems. How you sell. How you onboard clients. How you follow up. A process saves you energy and builds consistency.

There is a thing called Dead Man Sparrow.

Did you know pilots don’t fly the plane by sight? Not by their feelings, and not by accident. They fly the plane… soley by their instruments and their process. If they fly by sight, they will crash every time… and so will you in your business. Follow your process.

#2. Know your audience.

Don’t try to be everything to everyone. Know who you’re serving. Get obsessed… with their pain points. Do the research. Understand the market. Stop selling… and start solving. Go to events where your potential customers are. The Albany Business Review just had 250 people at an Economic Outlook, with all the top executives and businesses, and there were 2 people of color in the entire room. Get in rooms that make you feel uncomfortable. Bring your authentic self…, your skill and your elevator pitch.

The entire focus of your business should be…To make you known BEFORE you are needed!

#3. Pivot when needed.

Flexibility isn’t weakness—it’s survival. Some of the greatest companies in the world started out doing something completely different than what they do today. Don’t be rigid…be fluid.

#4. Protect your mindset.

This game is mental. Once you understand that life is… 10% what happens to you… and 90% how you react to it…you will understand your inner thoughts more. Stay around people who speak life into your dreams. Take care of your mental health… You can’t pour from an empty cup. Go to therapy. Establish boundaries… and make your expectations known. Do not tell everyone what u are doing.

For me personally…I do not announce moves…I only confirm arrivals.

#5. Do what you say you’re going to do.

Integrity is the foundation. It’s what people will remember long after the deal is done. It’s the very thing… that holds you accountable in the mirror. If you only remember one thing from my talk today…remember this…

The goal is to win…NOT TO LOOK LIKE YOUR WINNING! Let me say that again…the goal is to win…not to look like you’re winning.

As the Market President of the Albany Business Review, I’ve had the unique advantage of seeing both sides…entrepreneurship and corporate America.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

Business development is an intersection. It’s where sales, HR, operations, and marketing all collide. You can’t scale a business without aligning those areas. It’s not just about having a great product or service—it’s about the team, the process, the message, the delivery, and the follow-through.

You need to ask yourself:

•  Do I have a defined sales process?
• Do I have the right people in the right roles?
• Is my brand consistent and visible?
• Is my social media and marketing on point?
• Am I listening to credible feedback?
• Are my operations scalable and sustainable?
• Do I have a good Business Plan, and do I refine it quarterly, monthly maybe even weekly…, OR am I rigid and unwilling to be nimble?

You wouldn’t build a house without blueprints. Why would you build a business without a plan? Your business plan is your roadmap. It helps you see what’s coming…, measure progress, and pivot when needed. Whenever I’m coaching someone, the very first thing I must determine is whether they have a business or if it’s a hobby. The business plan will give me insight into that.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. But it does have to exist.

Because there are going to be late nights and long Days

Let’s be honest. This isn’t for the faint of heart or for the weak.

Nights… when you’re the only one who believes. Nights when the invoice didn’t clear, the client didn’t sign, or the idea didn’t take hold. Nights where your loved ones tell you to give up… and find a real job. Forgive them…, give them grace and trust the process.

If you are unwilling to create a process and unwilling to follow it…. then they are right… go get a job and follow someone else’s process… while helping them attain their hopes and dreams. Your choice!

There are days you will question everything. That’s normal. That’s real.

Your why must be bigger than the noise around you. Your ‘why’ will keep you moving when your ‘what’ isn’t working. And your how…that’s where the process comes in.

Everything You Want Is on the Other Side of Fear

This truth took me years to learn. Fear and comfort… are the two biggest enemies of growth. Fear is simply… False Evidence Appearing Real

You can’t stay comfortable and expect to grow. You can’t avoid fear and expect to evolve. Every major move in my career… came right after I did something uncomfortable…, something that scared me.

Being the only Black Publisher in the Country, in an organization that has 45 Journals in the most diverse cities in America, scared me. But I also knew I was bringing a process to the Business Review…. that wasn’t there before me. There was comfort in that.

My mindset: Feel the fear…. And do it anyway. Jump off the cliff and build the plane on the way down…but do it with a process.

Because what’s on the other side?

Freedom. Progress. Success. And an opportunity for generational wealth.

And let us not forget the importance of our mental health.

Your mental health matters. Entrepreneurship can be lonely, isolating, and emotionally draining. You need space. You need boundaries. You need community. You need rest.

Protecting your mental health… is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. Don’t buy into the stigma.

Build your business on integrity, character, and consistency. The world is full of hype. Full of shortcuts. Be the one who honors your word. Who does the right thing…, especially when no one’s watching. Every potential client is looking for that…. especially if you can solve their problem… with your product and or service.

Let me leave you with three sayings that have carried me through dark nights.

#1. “Adversity causes some people to break and others to break records”. Adversity is where most give up, it’s where I choose to win.

#2. “Successful people do what unsuccessful people are unwilling to do”. Discipline and self-control. Risk taking. Continuous learning and improvement. Build strong relationships. And embracing failure to name a few.

#3. “It’s a fool that learns from their own mistakes… and wise person that learns from the mistakes of others”. You are going to make mistakes, but if you learn from folks like Deshanna Wiggins, Trent Griffin Braaf, Dr Tanya Henderson, myself,… and others…you will undoubtedly make less mistake with your OWN money.

If I knew then what I know now, I would’ve started sooner.

If I knew then what I know now I would’ve trusted myself more.

If I knew then what I know now I would’ve worried less about being perfect…, more about being persistent…, and more about protecting my mental health.

Entrepreneurship is not easy. But when done right… it is worth it.

Yes…You’ll cry some nights.

Yes…You’ll win big.

And yes…You’ll lose big.

But if you build your business with integrity, with intention…, with a workable plan… and protect your heart, seek therapy…

just like most professional athletes do…you’ll have a process…, a blueprint… and an overall textbook for your loved ones.

That, my brothers and sisters… gives you an opportunity to build a legacy and enjoy the so-called American Dream.

And in the end, that’s the real goal.

Thank you for letting me pour into you… and remember…

Together… we rise!

May 23, 2025, Albany Black Chamber of Commerce

Dialogue Theme: “If I Knew Then, What I Know Now“

Thank you Dr Henderson for putting together the series of Wellness Fridays here at the Black Chamber of Commerce. Welcome everyone, are you excited to be here? I am.

To use Dr Henderson’s words: This evening is designed to be impactful, relatable, and practical, especially for current and aspiring business owners looking to lead with purpose while protecting their peace and vision.

Today, we’re diving into candid conversations about the journey of entrepreneurship and leadership, with a special focus on mental wellness. The theme being: ‘If I Knew Then What I Know Now” I am one of 582 million people, almost 8% of the global population, who have devoted their lives to entrepreneurship. This means that for more than a decade, I have been in the process of either starting or running my own business. But what are the implications of this identity as an entrepreneur on my psychological well-being?

Entrepreneurship can lead to mental health problems such as depression, anxiety, self-worth issues, and addiction. The first steps of building a company can induce massive anxiety, raising money can trigger feelings of rejection, and pivoting requires incredible resilience. The chances of success or lack thereof can cause a feeling of failure, and after investing time and money, failing can bring on a deep depression. Anxiety can manifest itself in many ways, including fear, restlessness, and difficulty concentrating, while depression is characterized by feelings of sadness, hopelessness and fatigue.

As entrepreneurs, we often find ourselves so caught up in the day-to-day operations and growth of our businesses that we overlook some critical aspects that are essential for long-term success.

First, financial planning is more than just managing cash flow—it’s about envisioning and preparing for the future, ensuring sustainability even in tough times.

Second, sustainable networking is not just about exchanging business cards—it’s about building genuine relationships that offer support, opportunities, and growth for all parties involved.

Third, strategic business development is about continuously adapting, learning, and innovating to stay ahead in a dynamic business environment.

Finally, wellness alignment is crucial. Taking care of our mental and physical health should be a top priority, not a luxury.

Today, we’ll explore these themes more deeply and share valuable lessons learned because, as I said before, it can impact our mental health and wellness. Let’s dive in and learn from each other!”

Financial Planning

A big mistake we often make is working out in our heads how the finances will work. We think our product or service is profitable because we look at the Cost of Goods and throw a mark-up on it and yes we will be making money. We don’t look at total labor hours, we don’t calculate break even points, we don’t factor in all the overhead costs, we don’t pay ourselves. We keep on hustling to make ends meet and say we are working for ourselves, but are we creating generational wealth? Is what we are doing creating more mental and physical harm than good? Did we do the work to see if the business was financially viable in the market we want to operate in?

Networking

In networking, prioritize quality over quantity. It is not just about attending events, taking pictures and posting on social media to say ‘I was there’. What is the benefit of you being there, how does it translate to revenue and or emotional well-being? When you are networking, focus on developing strong relationships with smaller well-chosen groups of individuals whose expertise, values and goals align with your own. Nurture relationships and seek out opportunities to collaborate and support your network. Avoid superficial exchanges and prioritize meaningful conversations that lead to a deeper understanding and connection. Always offer value and support to others without expecting immediate reciprocation.

Business Development

Business development involves planning for future growth and defining the long-term vision for your company. It is a strategic process focused on creating value for your business through identifying, pursuing, and securing

new opportunities. It involves market research, financial planning, negotiations, and lead generation. You must know your target market and plan how you are going to reach them, you must find out if your product is what the market wants as well. Most importantly, who are your customers?

Many of us shy away from writing a business plan because it can be daunting, but there are tools out there now that simplifies the process. The plan is your roadmap/GPS that guides your actions. It puts on paper or digitally how you see your business growing. How you move it from a hobby or side hustle to an actual business. Take the time to create that plan and follow it, as the environment change you can amend your plan and shift direction. Utilize ChatGPT to help you write your business plan.

Wellness

As mentioned before, some challenges to entrepreneurial mental health are high stress levels, burnout, loneliness and isolation, and lack of work life balance. Entrepreneurs often work long hours, juggle multiple responsibilities and face constant pressure to succeed which can lead to chronic stress. The relentless demands can lead to exhaustion and burnout, and this impacts both physical and mental health. When we are going through the journey, especially if you don’t have family and friends supporting you, you may feel isolated. This feeling of isolation is especially prevalent in the early stages of the entrepreneurial journey. That is why it is important to have a healthy work-life balance. Blurring the lines between work and personal life can make it difficult to prioritize self-care and well-being.

Many of us in the black community fear seeking mental health therapy because of the stigma surrounding mental health. Don’t hesitate to seek professional help to talk through things. Find a stable network of peers, mentors, and other entrepreneurs for support and guidance.

This milestone event marks five years of providing vital mental health services to the community. It aims to raise awareness of mental health, self-care wellness benefits, and the support of local businesses.

Read More

A panelist discussion of womanhood with Laquanya Haggray, Tye Woodson-Craig, Dr. Veneilya Goodwin-Harden, Anzala B. Alozie, Ayayi Eneli, and Natarsha D. Waklatsi. Moderated by Dr. Kim Lewis and Hosted by Dr. Tanya Henderson. Friday, May 21, 2021

Watch Now

Join in on the discussion as we examine Black Gay men’s responsibility to Black Women. Webinar facilitated by Seth C. Pearson, Esq.

Watch Now

In celebration of Women’s History, we present Women’s Words of Wisdom to you, a Women’s History Panel. This dynamic all-women panelist, including Dr. Kim Lewis, Kathleen McLean, and Jamaica Miles; LaShawn Brown will moderate this impactful conversation. Host Dr. Tanya Henderson of Our Village Services LLC

Watch Now

TEEN TALK: PARENTS JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND. Teenagers across New York State were asked, What do parents/adults not understand about you (teenagers)? Facilitators Janay Campbell, LMHC and Suzanne Odom, LMSW will help us understand the teenage experience to bridge the communication gap.

Watch Now

This is a much-needed conversation as we discuss the interaction of being LGBTQAI+ & BIPOC. These talented panelists will share their coming-out experiences through the lens of culture, family, religion, and community. Moderated by Jes Rodriguez, with Panelists Cole Armstrong, Seth Pearson, and Steve Almeida.

Watch Now

This workshop dialog with our ancestors and loved ones who are now no longer with us. May you keep their memory alive through the stories you tell. Gone, but never forgotten. The conversation will be led by D. Colins and facilitated by Dr. Tanya Henderson.

Watch Now

Join us for thought-provoking dialog on Healing the Child Within. Discussion facilitated by guest speakers Tiarra Faulkner, LPC, and hosted by Dr. Tanya Henderson, Ed.D, LMHC, CASAC 2.

Watch Now

Join us for a lively conversation on Relationship Compatibility and the challenges of navigating self-love, compromise, and settling. Discussion facilitated by guest speakers Sherrie Gilbert-Ramsey, MS, LPC, and Dr. Giri J. Peterson, Ph.D, and hosted by Dr. Tanya Henderson, Ed.D, LMHC, CASAC 2.

Watch Now

Understanding your sexual expression, pleasure, and desires. Facilitated by Portia Brown of Froetic Sexology, and hosted by Dr. Tanya Henderson

Watch Now

How do you hold onto faith when it seems like the odds are against you? Discussion facilitated by Qiana Hobdy, LMSW

Watch Now

We reclaim the narrative of domestic violence and intimate partner violence survivors. Let’s dispel the myths, misconnections, and shame of “being a victim.” Facilitated by Latoya Tucker, DV advocate, and Ashley Evans, MA LPCC, PPC, NC, and hosted by Dr. Tanya Henderson, Ed.d, LMHC, NCC, CASAC 2

Watch Now

A healing discussion on the power of forgiveness and the benefits of letting. The discussion is led by Lynda Price ED.S, LPC, AADC, and TR Shields, TH.M, hosted by Dr. Tanya Henderson, ED.D, LMHC, CASAC 2

Watch Now